Posts tagged with 'My Life'

Depression

  • Posted on July 12, 2009 at 10:52 am

Share/Save/Bookmark

Major Depression

What is major depression?

Major depression is a serious medical illness affecting 15 million American adults, or approximately 5 to 8 percent of the adult population in a given year. Unlike normal emotional experiences of sadness, loss, or passing mood states, major depression is persistent and can significantly interfere with an individual’s thoughts, behavior, mood, activity, and physical health. Among all medical illnesses, major depression is the leading cause of disability in the U.S. and many other developed countries. Depression occurs twice as frequently in women as in men, for reasons that are not fully understood. More than half of those who experience a single episode of depression will continue to have episodes that occur as frequently as once or even twice a year. Without treatment, the frequency of depressive illness as well as the severity of symptoms tends to increase over time. Left untreated, depression can lead to suicide. Major depression, also known as clinical depression or unipolar depression, is only one type of depressive disorder. Other depressive disorders include dysthymia (chronic, less severe depression) and bipolar depression (the depressed phase of bipolar disorder or manic depression). People who have bipolar disorder experience both depression and mania. Mania involves unusually and persistently elevated mood or irritability, elevated self-esteem, and excessive energy, thoughts, and talking.  

What are the symptoms of major depression?

The onset of the first episode of major depression may not be obvious if it is gradual or mild. The symptoms of major depression characteristically represent a significant change from how a person functioned before the illness. The symptoms of depression include:

  • persistently sad or irritable mood
  • pronounced changes in sleep, appetite, and energy
  • difficulty thinking, concentrating, and remembering
  • physical slowing or agitation
  • lack of interest in or pleasure from activities that were once enjoyed
  • feelings of guilt, worthlessness, hopelessness, and emptiness
  • recurrent thoughts of death or suicide
  • persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

When several of these symptoms of depressive illness occur at the same time, last longer than two weeks, and interfere with ordinary functioning, professional treatment is needed.  

What are the causes of major depression?

There is no single cause of major depression. Psychological, biological, and environmental factors may all contribute to its development. Whatever the specific causes of depression, scientific research has firmly established that major depression is a biological, medical illness. Norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine are three neurotransmitters (chemical messengers that transmit electrical signals between brain cells) thought to be involved with major depression. Scientists believe that if there is a chemical imbalance in these neurotransmitters, then clinical states of depression result. Antidepressant medications work by increasing the availability of neurotransmitters or by changing the sensitivity of the receptors for these chemical messengers. Scientists have also found evidence of a genetic predisposition to major depression. There is an increased risk for developing depression when there is a family history of the illness. Not everyone with a genetic predisposition develops depression, but some people probably have a biological make-up that leaves them particularly vulnerable to developing depression. Life events, such as the death of a loved one, a major loss or change, chronic stress, and alcohol and drug abuse, may trigger episodes of depression. Some illnesses such as heart disease and cancer and some medications may also trigger depressive episodes. It is also important to note that many depressive episodes occur spontaneously and are not triggered by a life crisis, physical illness, or other risks.  

How is major depression treated?

Although major depression can be a devastating illness, it is highly treatable. Between 80 and 90 percent of those diagnosed with major depression can be effectively treated and return to their usual daily activities and feelings. Many types of treatment are available, and the type chosen depends on the individual and the severity and patterns of his or her illness. There are three well-established types of treatment for depression: medications, psychotherapy, and electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). For some people who have a seasonal component to their depression, light therapy may be useful. These treatments may be used alone or in combination. Additionally, peer education and support can promote recovery. Attention to lifestyle, including diet, exercise, and smoking cessation, can result in better health, including mental health. Medication. . It often takes two to four weeks for antidepressants to start having an effect, and 6-12 weeks for antidepressants to have their full effect. The first antidepressant medications were introduced in the 1950s. Research has shown that imbalances in neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine can be corrected with antidepressants. Four groups of antidepressant medications are most often prescribed for depression:

  • Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) act specifically on the neurotransmitter serotonin. They are the most common agents prescribed for depression worldwide. These agents block the reuptake of serotonin from the synapse to the nerve, thus artificially increasing the serotonin that is available in the synapse (this is functional serotonin, since it can become involved in signal transmission, the cardinal function of neurotransmitters). SSRIs include fluoxetine (Prozac), sertraline (Zoloft), paroxetine (Paxil), citalopram (Celexa), escitalopram (Lexapro), and fluvoxamine (Luvox).
  • Serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) are the second-most popular antidepressants worldwide. These agents block the reuptake of both serotonin and norepinephrine from the synapse into the nerve (thus increasing the amounts of these chemicals that can participate in signal transmission). SNRIs include venlafaxine (Effexor) and duloxetine (Cymbalta).
  • Bupropion (Wellbutrin) is a very popular antidepressant medication classified as a norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitor (NDRI). It acts by blocking the reuptake of dopamine and norepinephrine.
  • Mirtazapine (Remeron) works differently from the compounds discussed above. Mirtazapine targets specific serotonin and norepinephrine receptors in the brain, thus indirectly increasing the activity of several brain circuits.
  • Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) are older agents seldom used now as first-line treatment. They work similarly to the SNRIs, but have other neurochemical properties which result in very high side effect rates, as compared to almost all other antidepressants. They are sometimes used in cases where other antidepressants have not worked. TCAs include amitriptyline (Elavil, Limbitrol), desipramine (Norpramin), doxepin (Sinequan), imipramine (Norpramin, Tofranil), nortriptyline (Pamelor, Aventyl), and protriptyline (Vivactil).
  • Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs) are also seldom used now. They work by inactivating enzymes in the brain which catabolize (chew up) serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine from the synapse, thus increasing the levels of these chemicals in the brain. They can sometimes be effective for people who do not respond to other medications or who have “atypical” depression with marked anxiety, excessive sleeping, irritability, hypochondria, or phobic characteristics. However, they are the least safe antidepressants to use, as they have important medication interactions and require adherence to a particular diet. MAOIs include phenelzine (Nardil), isocarboxazid (Marplan), and tranylcypromine sulfate (Parnate).
  • Non-antidepressant adjunctive agents. Often psychiatrists will combine the antidepressants mentioned above with each other (we call this a “combination”) or with agents which are not antidepressants themselves (we call this “augmentation”). These latter agents can include the atypical antipsychotic agents [aripiprazole (Abilify), olanzapine (Zyprexa), quetiapine (Seroquel), ziprasidone (Geodon), risperidone (Risperdal)], buspirone (Buspar), thyroid hormone (triiodothyonine, or “T3”), the stimulants [methylphenidate (Ritalin), dextroaphetamine (Aderall)], dopamine receptor agonists [pramipexole (Mirapex), ropinirole (Requipp)], lithium, lamotrigine (Lamictal), s-adenosyl methionine (SAMe), pindolol, and steroid hormones (testosterone, estrogen, DHEA).

Consumers and their families must be cautious during the early stages of medication treatment because normal energy levels and the ability to take action often return before mood improves. At this time – when decisions are easier to make, but depression is still severe – the risk of suicide may temporarily increase.

  • Psychotherapy. There are several types of psychotherapy that have been shown to be effective for depression including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and interpersonal therapy (IPT). Research has shown that mild to moderate depression can often be treated successfully with either of these therapies used alone. However, severe depression appears more likely to respond to a combination of psychotherapy and medication.
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) – helps to change the negative thinking and unsatisfying behavior associated with depression, while teaching people how to unlearn the behavioral patterns that contribute to their illness.
  • Interpersonal therapy (IPT) – focuses on improving troubled personal relationships and on adapting to new life roles that may have been associated with a person’s depression.
  • Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). ECT is a highly effective treatment for severe depressive episodes. In situations where medication, psychotherapy, and a combination of the two prove ineffective, or work too slowly to relieve severe symptoms such as psychosis or thoughts of suicide, ECT may be considered. ECT may also be considered for those who for one reason or another cannot take antidepressant medications.

What are the side effects of the medications used to treat depression?

Different medications produce different side effects, and people differ in the type and severity of side effect they experience. About 50 percent of people who take antidepressant medications experience some side effects, particularly during the first weeks of treatment. Side effects that are particularly bothersome can often be treated by changing the dose of the medication, switching to a different medication, or treating the side effect directly with additional medications. Rarely, serious side effects such as fainting, heart problems, or seizure may occur, but they are almost always treatable.

  • Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) cause side effects that include dry mouth, constipation, bladder problems, sexual problems, blurred vision, dizziness, drowsiness, skin rash, and weight gain or loss.
  • Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs). Individuals taking MAOIs may have to be careful about eating certain smoked, fermented, or pickled foods, drinking certain beverages, or taking some medications because they can cause severe high blood pressure in combination with the medication. A range of other, less serious side effects occur including weight gain, constipation, dry mouth, dizziness, headache, drowsiness, insomnia, and sexual side effects (problems with arousal or satisfaction).
  • SSRIs, and SNRIs tend to have fewer and different side effects, such as nausea, nervousness, insomnia, diarrhea, rash, agitation, or sexual side effects (problems with arousal or orgasm).
  • Bupropion generally causes fewer common side effects than TCAs and MAOIs. Its side effects include restlessness, insomnia, headache or a worsening of preexisting migraine conditions, tremor, dry mouth, agitation, confusion, rapid heartbeat, dizziness, nausea, constipation, menstrual complaints, and rash.

Reviewed by Dr. Ken Duckworth, NAMI Medical Director, September 2006

Read about Treatments and Supports for Mental Illness

 


 

More Fact Sheets

Understanding Major Depression and Recovery(PDF)  

NAMI’s booklet on Understanding Major Depression and Recovery.

 

Women and Depression Brochure(PDF)  

Learn more about women and depression in this self-help brochure from The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) that addresses the causes, symptoms, life stages and treatment of depression.  

 

Ask the Doctor: Treatment Resistant Depression

NAMI’s Medical Director, Dr. Ken Duckworth, talks about treatment resistant depression and several treatment options.

 

Depression in Children and Adolescents

NAMI’s Fact Sheet on Depression in Children and Adolescents

More Fact Sheets…

 

Related Resources 

DepressionIsReal.com

Frustrated and concerned by popular misconceptions that trivialize depression as “just the blues” or dismiss it entirely as an “imaginary disease,” seven prominent physician, patient and civic nonprofit organizations have joined together to launch a public education campaign to tell Americans the truth about depression.

 

Depression Survey Results(PDF)

Depression is one of the most prevalent mental health conditions in the United States, affecting approximately 19 million American adults each year. The symptoms of depression vary widely and may greatly impact the social and economic well-being of sufferers. The goal of this survey is to document the costs of depression in terms of relationships, professional life, and economic well-being.

 

The Down and Up Show

The Down & Up Show is dedicated to the reality of depression. Each week the hosts talk with some of the world’s top experts on depression, as well as people who have been impacted by this illness. The reality of depression is that it is a debilitating and potentially deadly medical condition that affects some 19 million Americans every year. The other reality of depression is that there is hope.

 

Living with Major Depression

Welcome to NAMI’s Living with Major Depression community. Here you will find support, get targeted information and connect with people who understand.

 

Find Support

Learn more about the full spectrum of programs and services that NAMI provides across the country for people living with mental illnesses, and their families and loved ones.

 

Related Links

Sequenced Treatment Alternatives to Relieve Depression (STAR*D)

NIMH sponsored multi-center clinical trial and information resource.  

 

CBS Cares: Depression Web Site

As part of their new public service announcement campaign, CBS-TV has created a Web site on depression that contains information and stories.

 

Treatment for Adolescents with Depression Study (TADS)

NIMH sponsored multi-center clinical trial and information resource.

 

National Institute of Mental Health

Information from the NIH institute on depression.

 

Clinicaltrials.gov

Bipolar disorder research studies identified through the U.S. National Library of Medicine’s link to federally and privately funded studies worldwide.

 

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

Organization to improve lives of people living with mood disorders through support, education, and advocacy.

 

Mood and Anxiety Disorders Program (MAP)

NIMH intramural research and information program on mood disorders.

 

Source: NAMI

Share/Save/Bookmark

Bipolar Disorder

  • Posted on July 12, 2009 at 9:45 am

Bipolar Disorder

What is bipolar disorder?

Bipolar disorder, or manic depression, is a medical illness that causes extreme shifts in mood, energy, and functioning. These changes may be subtle or dramatic and typically vary greatly over the course of a person’s life as well as among individuals. Over 10 million people in America have bipolar disorder, and the illness affects men and women equally. Bipolar disorder is a chronic and generally life-long condition with recurring episodes of mania and depression that can last from days to months that often begin in adolescence or early adulthood, and occasionally even in children. Most people generally require some sort of lifelong treatment. While medication is one key element in successful treatment of bipolar disorder, psychotherapy, support, and education about the illness are also essential components of the treatment process.

What are the symptoms of mania?

Mania is the word that describes the activated phase of bipolar disorder. The symptoms of mania may include:

  • either an elated, happy mood or an irritable, angry, unpleasant mood
  • increased physical and mental activity and energy
  • racing thoughts and flight of ideas
  • increased talking, more rapid speech than normal
  • ambitious, often grandiose plans
  • risk taking
  • impulsive activity such as spending sprees, sexual indiscretion, and alcohol abuse
  • decreased sleep without experiencing fatigue

What are the symptoms of depression?

Depression is the other phase of bipolar disorder. The symptoms of depression may include:

  • loss of energy
  • prolonged sadness
  • decreased activity and energy
  • restlessness and irritability
  • inability to concentrate or make decisions
  • increased feelings of worry and anxiety
  • less interest or participation in, and less enjoyment of activities normally enjoyed
  • feelings of guilt and hopelessness
  • thoughts of suicide
  • change in appetite (either eating more or eating less)
  • change in sleep patterns (either sleeping more or sleeping less)

What is a “mixed” state?

A mixed state is when symptoms of mania and depression occur at the same time. During a mixed state depressed mood accompanies manic activation.

What is rapid cycling?

Sometimes individuals may experience an increased frequency of episodes. When four or more episodes of illness occur within a 12-month period, the individual is said to have bipolar disorder with rapid cycling. Rapid cycling is more common in women.

What are the causes of bipolar disorder?

While the exact cause of bipolar disorder is not known, most scientists believe that bipolar disorder is likely caused by multiple factors that interact with each other to produce a chemical imbalance affecting certain parts of the brain. Bipolar disorder often runs in families, and studies suggest a genetic component to the illness. A stressful environment or negative life events may interact with an underlying genetic or biological vulnerability to produce the disorder. There are other possible “triggers” of bipolar episodes: the treatment of depression with an antidepressant medication may trigger a switch into mania, sleep deprivation may trigger mania, or hypothyroidism may produce depression or mood instability. It is important to note that bipolar episodes can and often do occur without any obvious trigger.

How is bipolar disorder treated?

While there is no cure for bipolar disorder, it is a treatable and manageable illness. After an accurate diagnosis, most people can achieve an optimal level of wellness. Medication is an essential element of successful treatment for people with bipolar disorder. In addition, psychosocial therapies including cognitive-behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, family therapy, and psychoeducation are important to help people understand the illness and to internalize skills to cope with the stresses that can trigger episodes. Changes in medications or doses may be necessary, as well as changes in treatment plans during different stages of the illness.

It is useful to know whether the “mood stabilizing medication” prescribed has been approved by the FDA for use in bipolar disorder:

Medications for Mania:

Currently FDA approved: lithium (Eskalith or Lithobid), divalproex sodium (Depakote), carbamazepine (Tegretol), olanzapine (Zyprexa), risperidone (Risperdal), quetiapine (Seroquel), ziprasidone (Geodon), aripiprazole (Abilify)

At least one adequate well controlled study with positive data: haloperidol (Haldol)

Medications for bipolar depression:

Currently FDA approved: combination of olanzapine and fluoxetine (Symbyax)

Also at least one adequate well controlled study with positive data: quetiapine (Seroquel) and lamotrigine (Lamictal)

Medications for preventing (or delaying) recurrence:

Currently FDA approved: lithium (Eskalith or Lithobid), lamotrigine (Lamictal), olanzapine (Zyprexa), and aripiprazole (Abilify) 

Frequently a combination of two or more medications is used, especially during severe episodes of acute mania or depression.

Medication specifics and possible side effects:

Lithium has long been used as a first line treatment for acute mania in people with bipolar disorder for more than 50 years. It generally has more positive impact when used earlier, rather than later, in the course of bipolar disorder. Research shows it is most effective in those individuals with a family history of the illness, and in those experiencing the bipolar I sequence of swings between mania and depression with return to normal function between episodes.

Like all medications, lithium treatment produces side effects. The most common ones are dose-related and can be effectively managed, but for about 30 percent of people who try it, lithium is not tolerable. Lithium side effects may include frequent urination, excessive thirst, weight gain, memory problems, hand tremors, gastrointestinal problems, hair loss, acne, and water retention. There are two important lithium side effects, that can be effectively monitored by a simple blood test: 1)hypothyroidism, which mimics depression and can be easily treated, and 2) less commonly, damage to kidney functions.

Anti-convulsants: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved divalproex sodium (Depakote) in 1995 for treating bipolar episodes. Originally approved in 1983 as a drug to treat epilepsy, Depakote was found to be as effective as lithium for treating acute mania, and appears to be better than lithium in treating the more complex bipolar subtypes of rapid cycling and dysphoric mania, as well as co-morbid substance abuse. In addition, Depakote may be safely given in larger doses to treat acute episodes, and works faster in this situation than lithium. The generic version of this drug is valproic acid. Some people find that the generic version produces more gastrointestinal distress than Depakote.

Depakote may also produce sedation and gastrointestinal distress, but these side effects often resolve during the first six months of treatment, or with dose adjustment. Another dose-related side effect is weight gain, and rare liver and pancreatic function problems may develop while taking Depakote. However, Depakote is generally well-tolerated, and is now prescribed far more often then lithium. Recent controlled trials indicate that the combination of Depakote and lithium is more effective in preventing relapse and recurrence than treatment with lithium alone.

Lamictal (lamotrigine), another anti-convulsant, is effective in the treatment of acute depression in bipolar I and II and in promoting remissions between episodes. For most people, Lamictal has a very tolerable side effect profile. Rarely, this medication can cause a rash serious enough to cause a medical emergency. The risk of this one potentially serious side effect can be reduced by starting with a low dose and going slowly in increasing the dose.

Use of Antidepressants

Standard antidepressant medications (those approved for the treatment of unipolar depression) have not yet been proven effective for bipolar depression. Although the evidence supporting their use for bipolar depression is limited to small or less rigorous studies, these medications remain the most commonly used treatment for bipolar depression. The data from larger studies finds neither evidence of benefit nor evidence that these agents cause large numbers of depressed patients to switch into mania.

Use of Antipsychotic Medications as Mood Stabilizers

To control acute episodes, antipsychotic medications may be used alone (monotherapy), or added to anti-convulsant medications (combination therapy). Medication guidelines now recommend the combination of these two medications as most effective for acute manic episodes. Because the older typical antipsychotic medications run the risk of causing permanent movement disorder, and have been associated with depression when used over the long term, the new atypical antipsychotics are now preferred for this purpose. All the new atypicals are effective in the treatment of acute and mixed mania. Olanzapine (Zyprexa) and risperidone (Risperdal) are FDA-approved for this purpose.

Finding the right preventive/maintenance medicine is an art informed by science and your own observations. Not all medicines that work in the acute phase of mania are as strong in preventing the next episode, so this is an area to explore.

Side effects of the atypicals are different than with first-generation antipsychotics (such as Haldol), although sedation, weight gain, and risk of diabetes are problems associated with many of the new antipsychotics. Clozapine and olanzapine, both effective antipsychotics and mood stabilizers, offer the most risk in this area. Weight gain is a serious clinical concern related to all atypical antipsychotics, and to anti-convulsants as well. Not only can weight gain lead to adult onset also known as type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular diseases, but being overweight is also now the leading cause of medication non-adherence. Doctors advise weekly monitoring of weight in the early stages of taking these medications, along with regular exercise and healthy diets, and people must be willing to make lifestyle changes to maintain optimal health. The FDA has noted an association between all atypical antipsychotics and the risk of diabetes. As the science develops in this area, it will continue to inform medicine choices for the person that best reflect their risks and benefits.             

Reviewed by Ken Duckworth, MD, October 2006

Read about Treatments and Support for Mental Illness


More Fact Sheets:

Understanding Bipolar Disorder and Recovery (PDF)
Guide to Understanding Bipolar Disorder and Recovery.

Child and Adolescent Bipolar Disorder
NAMI’s Fact Sheet on Child and Adolescent Bipolar Disorder

Related Resources:

Find Support
Learn more about the full spectrum of programs and services that NAMI provides across the country for people living with mental illnesses, and their families and loved ones.

Living with Bipolar Disorder
Welcome to the NAMI’s Living with Bipolar Disorder community. Here you will find support, get targeted information and connect with people who understand.

Related Links

Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation
An on-line support and advocacy organization focused on childhood bipolar disorder.

Clinicaltrials.gov
Bipolar disorder research studies identified through the U.S. National Library of Medicine’s link to federally and privately funded studies worldwide.

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
Organization to improve lives of people living with mood disorders through support, education, and advocacy.

Mood and Anxiety Disorders Program (MAP)
NIMH intramural research and information program on mood disorders.

National Institute of Mental Health
Information from the NIH institute on bipolar disorder.

Systematic Treatment Enhancement Program for Bipolar Disorder
NIMH sponsored multi-center clinical trial and information resource.

 

Source: NAMI

Suze Orman’s ~ 10 Tips for a Fresh Financial Start

  • Posted on July 10, 2009 at 7:23 am

Share/Save/Bookmark

1. No Blame, No Shame Suze Orman

The foundation of a financial fresh start actually has nothing to do with money or specific financial dos and don’ts. The first, and most difficult, step is to absolve yourself and your spouse or partner of any guilt. So you need to make a promise to me. I need you to agree that the past is past, and we are going to focus on the future. Whatever mistakes you feel you have made with money, whatever moves you wish you had or hadn’t made, are irrelevant. We are free to move forward only when we remove the emotional shackles of regret. This cleansing step is especially important for couples. You are in this together, so no finger-pointing or arguing about any past decisions. Do we have a deal? Deep breath, everyone. Exhale. Now you are ready to put your financial house in order.

2. Take a Snapshot of Your Finances It’s impossible to map out a route to your destination if you don’t know where you’re starting from. So let’s take a “before” picture of your finances. You’ve heard me say this a million times, but I want you to open every single financial statement—bank, credit card, mortgage, 401(k), brokerage account—and take a look. Only when you have everything in front of you can you set priorities about what to do next. If you’re vexed by your checking account (you swear you should have more money; you can never figure out why your checks bounce), start fresh by opening a new one. Leave enough in your existing account to cover any checks that haven’t yet been processed, then transfer the rest to the new account and close the old one. Next, sign up for online banking. It should be free, and as long as you use your home computer, it’s also safe. The advantage of online banking is that you can pay bills superfast, and your account is automatically credited or debited for each deposit and payment, making it easier to stay on track.

 3. Adopt a Foolproof Credit Card Strategy Make this the year you tackle that credit card debt once and for all. Doing so will make you and your family stronger and happier—forever. What happens to the stock market and the housing market is completely beyond your control. Credit card debt, however, is completely within your control. Every time you pay off a card with a 15 percent interest rate, you get a 15 percent return on your money. See if you can qualify for a balance transfer card that offers a low or 0 percent introductory interest rate for the first six to 12 months. If you can get a good deal, move your high-rate debt to that new card. Do not use the card for any new charges, and push yourself hard to pay off the balance as soon as possible. If you don’t qualify, no worries. Always pay the minimum due on each card, on time, every month. Whenever possible, send in some extra money on the card that charges the highest interest rate. Your goal is to get the costliest balance paid off first. When the first card is cleared, direct your payments to the card with the next highest interest rate. Keep doing this until you’ve zeroed out the balances on all your cards.

4. Try Harder to Save

Suze Orman on CNBC When I suggest that people send in more money to pay off credit card balances or increase the amount they save each month for retirement, I hear the same sad story: “Oh, Suze, I would if I could, but I can’t because there’s no extra money left at the end of the month.” I beg to differ. There’s no money left because you haven’t evaluated your spending habits. You need to dig deep and be willing to change those habits; to set goals and use those goals as the motivation for lifestyle changes that will allow you to save and invest. Take a clear-eyed look at your credit card statements for the past six months. Can you really tell me that there isn’t at least $50 or $100 showing up that you could easily do without? I didn’t think so. I call this “hidden money,” and here’s how you can find it.

I challenge you to reduce every one of your monthly utility bills by 10 percent. Change your calling plan or get rid of the landline account unless you absolutely need it. Dial back the platinum cable package to silver. I bet you can seriously trim your utilities by spending one afternoon increasing your home’s energy efficiency: Attach a draft-blocking guard to the bottom of any external doors; add caulk or weatherproofing material around drafty windows; put low-flow

aerators on your showerheads and faucets; and replace burned-out bulbs with compact fluorescent energy savers (they’re pricier than conventional bulbs but last much longer, saving you money over the long term).

Cars are another great place to save. Plan on driving yours for at least seven to ten years (regular tune-ups will help keep it running longer). Consider buying a used or certified pre-owned car rather than a brand new one. If you get a three-year loan, you have plenty of life left in your car, and money that once went to car payments is freed up for other financial needs. And please, avoid leasing. Since you don’t own the car, you never have a time when you are driving your car free and clear. Also, raising your deductible or designating one car to be used for low-mileage driving (under 15,000 miles a year) can reduce your insurance premiums by 15 percent or more.

5. Separate Savings from Investments Now we’re ready to move on to how you put your money to work for you and your family. There is a vitally important difference between money you need to save and money you need to invest, yet it’s a distinction many people don’t grasp. Money you know you need or want to spend in the next few years is savings. Money you keep handy for an emergency belongs in savings. Money you hope to use soon for a down payment on a house belongs in savings. And all savings belong in a low-risk bank savings account or money market account. The goal is to keep your money safe so that when you go to use it, it will be there. Raise your FICO score. Money you won’t need to use for at least seven years is money for investing. The goal here is to have your account grow over time to help you finance a distant goal, such as building a retirement fund. Since your goal is in the future, money for investing belongs in stocks. As I’ll explain later, the potential inflation-beating returns that only stocks can deliver make them the right choice for a successful long-term investment strategy.

6. Know Your Credit Score

The big takeaway from the meltdown of 2008 is that banks are going to be a lot less eager to lend money to you. You will need a sparkling financial personality: a FICO score above 700, solid verifiable income, a manageable amount of existing debt—to get good offers for credit cards, auto loans, mortgages, and refinancings. And you can expect lenders to continue to tighten the screws on your existing credit lines; all the credit they loved to give you before 2008 now makes them nervous. Get your credit score by going to MyFico.com. If your score is below 700, two of the best ways to improve it are to pay your bills on time and push yourself to reduce your credit card balances.

7. Evaluate Your Retirement Plan

Get a fresh financial start.If your 401(k) and Roth IRA lost value in 2008, that’s a good sign. It means you were invested in stocks, and that’s exactly where you should be invested—assuming your retirement is at least a decade away. Only stocks offer the chance of high returns that outpace the annual 3 to 4 percent inflation rate. In your 20s and 30s, aim to keep 80 percent in stocks and just 20 percent in bonds; you have time to ride out stock swings. As you age, slowly ramp up the percentage in bonds; in your 50s and 60s, consider keeping 40 percent or more in bonds to help buoy your portfolio when stocks are slumping. The biggest mistake you can make is to stop investing in your retirement accounts or to shift money from stocks into “safe” money market accounts. Instead of worrying that your account is down, remember that your money buys more shares of your retirement funds. The more shares you own now, the more you will make when the market recovers. Buy and hold is the way to go. Here’s some perspective: The 2008 market slide is the tenth bear market (commonly accepted as a decline of at least 20 percent) since 1950. If you’d put your money in stocks in 1950 and stayed invested through the ups and downs, your average annual return through 2007 would have been more than 10 percent. That’s not to say you can count on an average of 10 percent over the next 50 or so years (7 to 8 percent is probably more realistic), but it illustrates how keeping focused on the long term pays off.

8. Diversify Your Assests

Try to reduce any company stock you own in your 401(k) to less than 10 percent of your total retirement assets. Just ask employees of Enron, Bear Stearns, Merrill Lynch, and Washington Mutual how smart it was to make big bets on their own stock. Mutual funds and exchange-traded funds (ETFs) are ideal for retirement savings because they own dozens of stocks in their portfolios. If you’re flummoxed by all the investing options in your 401(k), look for a “target retirement” or “life cycle” fund. Then pick the specific portfolio that dovetails with your expected retirement age and you’re all set; you will be invested in a mix of stock and bond funds appropriate for your age. You can also invest your Roth IRA in these types of funds; Fidelity, T. Rowe Price, and Vanguard all offer these one-and-done options.

9. Don’t Obsess Over Your Home’s Value

Suze OrmanIf you own a house and can afford the mortgage, consider yourself lucky. Try to love your home for what it is: a haven for you and your family, not a path to riches. Unless you bought at the height of the market in a super-popular region that has gone Ice Age–cold, you’re going to be fine. And even if you did buy at the peak, if you plan on staying put for five to 10 years, the real estate market will recover with time. But let’s be clear: A home is not an investment that will fund your retirement or vacations. The 10 or 20 percent annual gains during the housing boom were temporary insanity. Buy a house you can really afford, and over time it will rise in value. But its main value is as a home. Period. If you got caught buying into the housing bubble and are now in mortgage trouble, talk to the lender about your options. Don’t raid your retirement accounts to keep up with the payments. What happens when the retirement accounts run dry? You still won’t be able to cover the mortgage, and you will have lost all your future security. 

 

10. Protect Your Family—and Your Nest Egg

If there is anyone dependent on your income—parents, children, relatives—you need life insurance. For the vast majority of us, term life insurance is all we need, because it protects you for the “term” of the policy (from five to 30 years) and is incredibly inexpensive. As always, it’s important to buy a policy from a firm with a strong financial rating, but even if an insurance company runs into trouble, your state insurance department has funds set aside to help protect you. I also want you to get your estate papers in order. You should have a living revocable trust (this document spells out how your assets should be distributed) with an incapacity clause, as well as a will.

Also, have an “advance medical directive” in place that tells your doctors the type of care you want if you become unable to speak for yourself. Finally, every family should have an emergency savings account that can cover at least eight months of living expenses. And I also want every woman to have her own personal savings account that could support her for at least three months, because you never know. The best place for your savings is an FDIC-insured bank (or a credit union backed by the National Credit Union Share Insurance Fund). If you keep less than $100,000 at an FDIC bank, no matter what happens to the bank, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (part of the U.S. government) will make sure you get every penny back. Online banks that are FDIC insured are just as safe as the bank downtown.

(Please note: The emergency federal legislation passed last October increased the FDIC insurance limit to $250,000 through December 2009. But to be extra safe, keep no more than $100,000 in any single bank.) Feel better? Follow these steps and no matter what the future brings, you will be in control of your financial destiny. And there’s nothing more valuable.  

Get started! Use the resources on Suze’s favorite financial websites.

Suze Orman’s latest book is Suze Orman’s 2009 Action Plan (Spiegel & Grau).

cashmoneycashmoneycashmoneycashmoneycashmoneycashmoneycashmoneycashmoneycashmoneycashmoneycashmoneycashmoneycashmoneycashmoney

Suze’s Web Picks

  • CardTrak.com tells you everything you need to know about credit cards. My favorite feature is a search engine that helps you find the cards with the lowest interest rates and best benefits.Suze Orman, photo by Marc Royce
  • SelectQuote.com and AccuQuote.com sift through hundreds of term life insurance policies so you can compare rates and find the best deals from top companies.
  • MyFDICInsurance.gov features a free EDIE (electronic deposit insurance estimator) tool that explains how much of your money is insured by the FDIC. (You’ll see me there: The FDIC asked me to be the site’s spokesperson.) Webapps.ncua.gov/ins has an estimator for federally insured credit unions.
  • MyFico.com lets you obtain your FICO score for a fee. Click on the Products link and choose FICO standard for $15.95.
  • BankRate.com has up-to-date rates on everything from CDs to auto loans and mortgages. There are lots of useful calculators, including an eye-opener on how long it will take to pay off your credit card if you pay just the minimum amount due each month. Reality check!

START READING THE FIRST CHAPTER OF SUZE ORMAN’S 2009 ACTION PLAN

From The Oprah Winfrey Show:

Best Life Week: Your Money Plan 2009

 


BannerFans.com

Share/Save/Bookmark

Alaina Nelson ~ Old School Memories

  • Posted on July 6, 2009 at 6:45 am

AlainaNelson_07Share/Save/Bookmark

 

 

Elementary school… those were the good ol’ days.  Gotwals Elementary school to be exact, Norristown, PA, USA.

I guess it was about 20 years ago, maybe even a bit more, when I first heard the melodic tunes that were actually the vocals of, what I  (at age 7 or 8) imagined could possibly have been “The Next Mariah Carey.”  In my opinion, then & now, Alaina Nelson will ALWAYS be an idol of mine. 

AlainaNelson_09

Being that she was a couple of years older than me, she was like a model “older cousin that you admire so much as a child.”  Although I never thought my voice would EVER be as good as Mariah Carey or Alaina Nelson, for that matter, as a child I dreamed that one day, I would have that powerful confidence behind my singing voice as they both did. 

Some good times out on the playground at recess. Girls jumpin double dutch or playin’chinese jump rope  Boys, climbing the “Big Cheese” or shootin’ hoops. Kids being kids, of course.  A few of us choosing to spend our time at recess singing together.  We would sing just about anything Singing popular songs from the radio by Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston,  TLC, Envogue, and more…  These were the years were I got my first taste of hip-hop & rap music.  A little Public Enemy, NWA, 2Pac, LL, Young M.C. etc…  I was in heaven!  New songs, new artists, a way to broaden my muscial horizons!

 Growing up I was fed mostly Disney tunes & church hymns.  I want to thank Alaina for being such a positive musical  influence in my life as I’m sure she has been in many people’s life.  Her voice brought me encouragement when I was young.  Now, as an adult, I can feel her style of music and still admire her confidence and eagerness to fulfil her lifelong dream to be and artist and creatively configure musical treats for the world to enjoy! 

 

 

Alaina Nelson ~

“In a day and age where true artistry is rarely demonstrated and even less likely to be celebrated, Philadelphia based singer/songwriter Alaina Nelson claws her way to center stage…ready, willing and fully capable of defying the odds. A self-proclaimed ‘artsy artist,’ her sugary, story-telling soprano grabs you by the hand and beelines straight to the left. Perhaps a sub-conscious, yet brazen attempt to distract you from her commercial appearance…or just maybe, a mere glimpse into the gray area that is her world.

AlainaNelson_05The daughter of a local icon, singer/musician Dave “Sonny” Nelson, Alaina was often the only child present at his band rehearsals. Tucked away in a corner, her eyes open wide with fascination; it was there that the adoration she held for her father sparked her love affair with music. Even further defining Alaina was her upbringing as a child of African-American, Irish, German, and Native American descent in a rough, urban neighborhood on the outskirts of Philadelphia. This instilled a survivability instinct within her that would later become evident in the lyrics she would write and the passion with which she would sing…

At the tender age of five, she began cultivating her musical roots via training in piano and musical theatre, and it quickly became apparent that she had been blessed with a beautiful gift…a powerful, luminous, and undeniable voice. Alaina’s focus then shifted toward industry icons like Stevie Wonder, Teena Marie, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey; with whom she was strongly impressed by their vocal delivery, writing and performances. Relentless in her pursuit, Alaina landed several noticeable exposure opportunities over the next few years including an impromptu performance during a taping of Showtime @ The Apollo, Trump Marina and The Sounds of Philadelphia in Atlantic City,  The Taste of Philadelphia and several events promoting the campaign for President Barack Obama.   

Alaina’s musical journey has inspired her to travel up and down the east coast, performing, writing and entertaining as much as she possibly can. Currently she is the lead female singer for PopDotSoul, a popular wedding band in the Tri-State area. She is also signed to Pinnacle Music Group as a recording artist and songwriter and is working on her debut album tentatively scheduled for release early 2010.

Alaina describes herself as “that quirky-silly-sing-songy-love to pick up a pencil and write a little something-proud mixty-touchy-feely-insomniac chick you might think you know a little something about. But you probably don’t…”  ~ I can definitely relate to that… Tiffi

AlainaNelson_04  AlainaNelson_04  AlainaNelson_04  AlainaNelson_04  AlainaNelson_04  AlainaNelson_04 

Links to Alaina Nelson’s Sites:

Check out Alaina’s MySpace Page

Visit Alaina on Facebook

AlainaNelson.com


BannerFans.com

More about Mariah

Share/Save/Bookmark

How to Seek a Divorce & Win in One Easy Step

  • Posted on July 5, 2009 at 10:54 am

 Share/Save/Bookmark

 

How To Seek A Divorce And Win In One Easy Step

By Susan N. Wolpin

          Recently there has been a good deal of attention focused on spousal assault and/or child abuse. While there is a need for attention into the matter of domestic abuse, there are too many instances where this attention acts to promote abuse of the abuse law itself. In an alarming number of cases false allegations of abuse have become an omnipotent weapon in an impending divorce/separation/custody action.

          How has this come to pass, one might ask? The answer requires a brief historical analysis. In Pennsylvania, the first domestic abuse act was passed on December 6, 1976. The act provided for reporting requirements and police intervention in domestic relations incidents. However, much discretion for enforcement and intervention was left with the police and other agencies. Due to the lobbying efforts of such groups as ‘A Woman’s Place’ the first substantive act was enacted on April 18, 1988. This is the first of the Acts that began to significantly deprive the wrongly accused of personal freedoms and property rights. Most importantly, these deprivations can and do occur without due process of law. The law was further modified in 1989, 1990, 1994, and most recently in March 1995. The current law as we know it was enacted as 23 PA C.S.A. § 6100 et seq. and is known as the PROTECTION FROM ABUSE ACT (PFA). The Act provides for the following remedies: 

  • 1. The accused loses possession and/or is evicted from his home.
  • 2. The accused temporarily loses custody of his children for up to twelve months. Under certain circumstances, custody may be permanently lost for two or more years.
  • 3. The accused is ordered to pay temporary child/spousal support.
  • 4. The accused is prohibited from entering or coming anywhere near the plaintiff’s residence, place of business, school, or family.
  • 5. The accused is to have no further contact with the plaintiff or the plaintiff’s family.
  • 6. The accused is ordered to pay all of the expenses of the plaintiff, including medical bills, moving expenses, loss of earnings, and attorney’s fees.
  • 7. Additionally, the accused is restrained from any further abuse.

While these remedies appear reasonable at first glance, here is the reality in actual practice:

  • 1. The accused is immediately thrown out of the family home without his personal property, clothes, or other necessities. He is often given only twenty minutes (under police supervision) to gather what he can. If served at a location other than that home, the accused can be virtually left with no clothing, toiletries, or money.
  • 2. The accused loses all or most of his valuables and treasured personal property.
  • 3. The accused is denied access to his financial records and documents. These papers are often taken by the plaintiff to her attorney for use in the support/divorce action.
  • 4. If there is a joint bank account, the accused often loses access to any assets in this account.
  • 5. The accused loses possession of the family home, probably permanently. The accused is usually thrown out of the house for up to ten days while awaiting a hearing before the Judge. This is more than enough time for the plaintiff to move, transfer, and/or distribute the accused’s personal property. In addition, the plaintiff is in a position to destroy the home, if so inclined. The displaced accused remains responsible for all the liabilities connected with the property.
  • 6. The accused loses all custody of his children in all but the most exceptional cases. Most often, the accused is denied visitation with the children, either legally, or in practice through the conduct of the plaintiff.
  • 7. If and when a formal custody proceeding is commenced, the accused is often reduced to supervised visitation with his children.
  • 8. Despite being denied access to his children, the accused will be ordered to pay spousal/child support. The amount of this support may be assessed with no regard to the support guidelines, or the party’s ability to pay. Failure to pay child support will lead to incarceration.
  • 9. The accused will be expected to avoid the plaintiff at all costs. If the accused as much as passes the plaintiff on the street, a possible charge and conviction of stalking may follow.
  • 10. There will be no provision for the possibility of reconciliation between the parties, even though the Pennsylvania Divorce Code clearly claims that the policy of the Commonwealth is to “Encourage and effect reconciliation and settlement of differences between spouses, especially where children are involved.” A PFA order, prohibiting any further contact or communication ensures that a reconciliation may not even be discussed.
  • 11. For all of these benefits and privileges, the accused can then be ordered to pay all of the plaintiff’s fees and expenses. Attorney fees alone can potentially exceed $3000.

        A typical PFA order is often sought when the Common Pleas courts are closed. A temporary Order may be granted by a District Justice at an ex-parte hearing, after an initial interview with and coaching of the plaintiff by volunteers from ‘A Woman’s Place’.

        The District Justice is only permitted to grant a temporary order if he/she feels that the plaintiff is in “immediate and present danger to (herself) or minor children.” This is a factual conclusion which must be based on the representations of the plaintiff, with preparation from a member of the staff of ‘A Woman’s Place’. Despite this statutory requirement, emergency orders are awarded as easily as widgets rolling off an assembly line.

total destruction of wrongly accused 

By law, within 10 days a hearing must be held in Common Pleas Court. The accused has been out of the house for that period. His expectancy is that this nightmare is coming to an end. By now he is probably desperate for a hug from his children. But the converse is too often true.

Typically, the accused will be appointed an overburdened pro bono attorney, who will, in most cases, try to pressure the accused into signing an agreement for Final Order by Consent without a hearing. Far too often, men will comply with this after being told “This in not an admission of guilt.” “You don’t want to see her anyway.” “It’s just easier this way. It won’t change anything for you.” The accused is promised almost anything, including the chance at reconciliation, if desired. Just to compel the signing of this document. This agreement will haunt you! It will be used by the plaintiff in any impending action. The agreement is often taken as an admission of guilt, despite the language it contains.  

YOU ARE NOW BRANDED AN ABUSER.

If you refuse to sign the agreement, the case will be heard by the Judge. At this point, you have a chance to try and present your defense.

Good Luck!!

 divider_01divider_01divider_01divider_01

 
 The PFA statute is located at 23 PA C.S.A. § 6100 et seq. Here are a few of the provisions of that statute:

1. The plaintiff may be accompanied by her counsel, and a counselor from ‘A Woman’s Place’. Her attorney is obtained from Bucks County Legal Aid, through ‘A Woman’s Place’. The counselor is permitted to coach the plaintiff’s answers. Oftentimes, the plaintiff is coached to misstate the facts, or to create facts in order to prevail. In the meantime, in Bucks County, the accuseds are represented by a single overburdened attorney acting on behalf of the Bucks County Bar Association, with rules and restraints established by Bucks County Legal Aid. This poor soul often has as many as 50-100 accuseds per day, with seconds for each.

2. The plaintiff may introduce and utilize documents and materials the accused has never before seen. Additionally, the authors and creators of these documents need not be present for cross-examination. The documents need not be authenticated nor shown to be reliable.

3. The standard of proof at these hearings is the “preponderance of evidence.” This means that the discretion remains with the Judge to grant or refuse the Order, based on hearsay or other improper evidence.

4. The plaintiff may then be permitted to relocate with the children to an unknown location. This location MAY NOT be revealed under any circumstances.

5. A Final Order may last as long as one year. However, this period may be extended with no limitations. An extension may be prompted by the plaintiff if she chooses to file further false allegations.

6. Contempt of the Order looms ever in the background. And she doesn’t even need to call the police to charge you. If an Officer sees you near her, her home or even your children, the law gives him the right to arrest you for violating the order. Of course, she may still call the police if she comes up with other ‘evidence’ of a violation.

So, how does this affect divorce? The answer should be obvious. In a divorce, the key issues are often custody, support, and equitable distribution. Under a PFA action, these issues are resolved upon the granting of the final order. While the remedies granted under a PFA are expected to be temporary, the reality is a very different matter. Once a PFA has been granted, the accused, rightly or wrongly, is branded an abuser. The accused will find it difficult to seek relief from the Family Courts at any further point in the system. All other issues will be colored by the plaintiff pointing to the PFA and yelling that this is an abusive man!

With the access of the plaintiff to all of the personal property for the duration of the PFA, the accused has already lost at equitable distribution. Much of the time, the marital estate has been decimated. If an injunction preventing transfer, distribution, or disposition of the marital property remaining in the house is sought, a Family Court Judge will often refuse to grant this. The Judge, to the contrary, can order the accused to turn over any and all liquid assets to the plaintiff or her attorney. This leaves the accused in a position whereby he cannot afford legal counsel to further defend himself.

Among the standards in custody is the nature and extent of alleged abuse in the household. If the plaintiff uses the final order, and she will, during a custody action, the accused may lose all custody, as well. Custody may be further impaired if the plaintiff can scheme to find the accused in contempt of the order.

Additionally, it is not uncommon for the accused to be denied access to his children for months at a time. A final hearing on custody can be repeatedly continued by the plaintiff which can have the effect of continuing the PFA. Also, we have heard, that some volunteers from ‘A Woman’s Place’ advise their clients not to comply with any order that grants custody or visitation to the accused.

Permanent child support will be determined according to the State Guidelines. However, if the abuse issue is presented to the accused’s workplace, he may lose his job, as well. Support will then be determined by what is termed an “earning capacity.” This is the standard which is used when it is alleged that the defendant has wilfully terminated his employment to avoid payment of support. Of course, the accused has been separated from his financial records, and is unable to report his income and expenses.

PFA has become the most employed tool in divorce and custody actions. One simply alleges a false claim of abuse and the accused loses the entire matter. The plaintiff/accuser walks away completely victorious. The number of false abuse claims is ever rising. There are no statistics showing the number of truly founded abuse claims, but it has been reported that nationally the number of false claims is about 56% and growing.

 Share/Save/Bookmark

Source:

S.P.A.R.C.

SPARC

25 Random Things About TwizzTed TIFFI:

  • Posted on May 19, 2009 at 12:16 am

1. For the record ~ I am not Latino (no offense), so no I don’t ¿Comprende Espanól?

2. I Love to Sing in the church choir & sing karaoke in my living room

3. Mariah Carey has Always been my idol & her first album has always been my favorite

4. I have four daughters (Bryanna 12, Kayla 6.5, Sierra 5, & Savannah 22mo.)

5. As a child, I would watch Nightmare on Elm Street by myself in the dark at night, when it was time for bed I would creep up to my room with my back against the wall and when I got to the top of the stairs, I practically ran to my room afraid of Freddy…Lol

6. I have a definite phobia of spiders, most flying buzzing objects, any bug with more than four legs & even some with only four

7. I am working on writing a book based on current events happening in my life within the past year

8. When I was a young child, I wanted to be a song writer/singer

9. I smoke Newport cigarettes & I’ve had to smoke Marlboro menthol for over 3 months…yuck

10. I think parody songs written by Weird Al are cool… U gotta hear the eBay song… LOL

11. Ever since I can remember I’ve gone Christmas caroling at Mercy Suburban Hospital every to sing to the patients who have to spend their holidays sick & in the hospital

12. I played the flute until I was in 8th grade

13. I dropped 40 Lbs after I gave birth to my fourth child and now I look better than EVER

14. I always wanted bigger boobs (may still get them?)

15. I met my new man on an internet gaming site hosted in the UK

16. I love playing board games like monopoly, sorry, trivial pursuit, checkers, dominos, etc.

17. My mom used to buy me real bunny rabbits for Easter

18. I believed in Santa Claus until I was 9 years old

19. There is a 13 year difference between my baby sister Kelly and I

20. I am way too honest & extremely spontaneous (yes me… wow)

21. I was a supervisor in a medical billing company that I worked for almost 10 years

22. I hate being late for ANYTHING, but lately I’m late with EVERYTHING… so annoying

23. My hunger pains remind me of the Giant Plant on Little Shop of Horrors ~ “FEED ME
SEYMOR…”

24. I have been in at least 18 theater productions in my lifetime

25. Memory… What is Memory ???

Lost in Europe ~ Part II

  • Posted on May 6, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Well …

 

… This Blog is a semi-sweet interlude into my current situation

Read Lost in Europe ~ Part I First

I ended up in The Netherlands, Europe for 3 Months, Officially Broke, and no way to get home (which is close to 6,000km away, across the Atlantic Ocean).

 

Home of course being Pennsylvania – United States of America!!!

 

I came here to Maastricht, Netherlands in the beginning of February this year. I decided to come here for the first time last December and stayed for three weeks at that time (at that time, it was only supposed to be one week… Pfffffff).

  To make a long story short, (I’ll Blog at a later date) I was scheduled to take a flight home one week after my arrival here in the Netherlands and due to a loss of passport situation (OMG) and two missed flights I finally made it home after three weeks missing Christmas.
 
 
Boy was that emotional to not be with my kids for the first Christmas EVER!!! I was a crying fool!

Once I arrived home to the U.S. on December 28th, I was only able to see my kids 2x’s/week for a total of 8 hours. This due to a situation back in October of last year. Where my soon-to-be-ex-husband FALSELY filed a PFA (Protection From Abuse) order against me stating that “I will stab this nigger in the back.” Funny, that sounds like it came out of a movie trailer or something.

 

I mean DAMN! After all the names I’ve been called over the years, it was only rightfully so that he was called a “pussy faggot” multiple times in return just because it pissed him off… lol! But “stab someone” I would not do. Everyone who actually knows me knows that I’m a lover not a hater. Besides… with the proof I have (i.e. police reports with photos) of him abusing me, why would I ever?

(More blogs based on my marriage/divorce coming soon!)

In addition to the divorce drama and needing to get away, the reason I came here is because I have a friend, Thomas, whom I met online back in August ‘08 on a multi player gaming website. We both had soooooo much in common that we could not wait to physically meet!

Needless to say I went out and bought a $20 web cam 24 hours after we began to IM.

 
 
It was only right for me to come here to Europe, because I REALLY needed to get away. All of my divorce drama still resides in Pennsylvania.
Overall I really am glad I came to the Netherlands. Although I am still hoping that I do not get deported…
It’s been 1 week past the 3 month limit… Fuck!  

Top

fzsdntxma3