Posts tagged with 'love'
Time Shattered Heart

Day after day my heart seems to weaken,
The pre-exsisting cracks spread wider & deepen.
‘Til the day that we met I had no direction,
You appeared in my life with great strength & affection.
You once helped me wish, gave me dreams, made me think.
Built my hopes up so they now only sink.
I can’t help but wonder how would life be without,
I think It’d be worse, though I can’t help to doubt.
I still cannot fathom how it started so great,
You promised to help me but I now only wait.
If time heals all wounds and it is of the essence.
Why does it pain me and just hate my presence?
Just keep on your roll while I’m worse by the hour.
If you love me so much then why make shit sour?
I guess I’ll keep waiting, what else can I do?
And maybe ’someday’ I’ll be next in the queue!
Day after day my heart feels so weak.
For an unshattered heart is all that I seek!

Written For Thomas (Samson)

Since I have found My Gemini Man,
He has helped Me to be, All that I can.
He’s compassionate touch, though to some it’s not much,
Quickly reminds Me, We fit phy-si-cal-ly.
This devoted feeling, is all I do need,
Which He’s shown me so deep, from the very First seed.
He’s swift, strong & loyal, but sensitive too!
His intelligence forces Me, to think, then to do!
All faith believed in, with that I hold dear.
We support ourselves through, and when I need he hears!
I enjoy him my soulmate, with him, life does flow
When I see him, he’s smiling, his face, all a glow
Always happy to see me, he’s my closest friend.
It’s relief, to be near him… ‘Til the bitter end!

Pisces with Gemini
These two mutable signs each share relaxed, flexible, dispositions and a love of people, but they have very different styles that they may not get on as smoothly as one would expect. Pisces(that’s me), a water sign, speaks the language of emotions while Gemini (Samson), an air sign, speaks the language of ideas. It’s easy for misunderstandings to occur, since Gemini doesn’t always mean what it says and Pisces can’t always say what it means. (So very true)
Also, Gemini’s cool detachment is in direct contrast to Pisces’ emotional intensity. But this pair can share their thoughts and feelings honestly, the Gemini objectivity and the Pisces insight could be good for both individuals — and for the relationship
So with a little care, these two, with their shared love of adventure and delight in new experiences, could have a great deal of fun both in and out of the bedroom!

How To Seek A Divorce And Win In One Easy Step
By Susan N. Wolpin
Recently there has been a good deal of attention focused on spousal assault and/or child abuse. While there is a need for attention into the matter of domestic abuse, there are too many instances where this attention acts to promote abuse of the abuse law itself. In an alarming number of cases false allegations of abuse have become an omnipotent weapon in an impending divorce/separation/custody action.
How has this come to pass, one might ask? The answer requires a brief historical analysis. In Pennsylvania, the first domestic abuse act was passed on December 6, 1976. The act provided for reporting requirements and police intervention in domestic relations incidents. However, much discretion for enforcement and intervention was left with the police and other agencies. Due to the lobbying efforts of such groups as ‘A Woman’s Place’ the first substantive act was enacted on April 18, 1988. This is the first of the Acts that began to significantly deprive the wrongly accused of personal freedoms and property rights. Most importantly, these deprivations can and do occur without due process of law. The law was further modified in 1989, 1990, 1994, and most recently in March 1995. The current law as we know it was enacted as 23 PA C.S.A. § 6100 et seq. and is known as the PROTECTION FROM ABUSE ACT (PFA). The Act provides for the following remedies:
- 1. The accused loses possession and/or is evicted from his home.
- 2. The accused temporarily loses custody of his children for up to twelve months. Under certain circumstances, custody may be permanently lost for two or more years.
- 3. The accused is ordered to pay temporary child/spousal support.
- 4. The accused is prohibited from entering or coming anywhere near the plaintiff’s residence, place of business, school, or family.
- 5. The accused is to have no further contact with the plaintiff or the plaintiff’s family.
- 6. The accused is ordered to pay all of the expenses of the plaintiff, including medical bills, moving expenses, loss of earnings, and attorney’s fees.
- 7. Additionally, the accused is restrained from any further abuse.
While these remedies appear reasonable at first glance, here is the reality in actual practice:
- 1. The accused is immediately thrown out of the family home without his personal property, clothes, or other necessities. He is often given only twenty minutes (under police supervision) to gather what he can. If served at a location other than that home, the accused can be virtually left with no clothing, toiletries, or money.
- 2. The accused loses all or most of his valuables and treasured personal property.
- 3. The accused is denied access to his financial records and documents. These papers are often taken by the plaintiff to her attorney for use in the support/divorce action.
- 4. If there is a joint bank account, the accused often loses access to any assets in this account.
- 5. The accused loses possession of the family home, probably permanently. The accused is usually thrown out of the house for up to ten days while awaiting a hearing before the Judge. This is more than enough time for the plaintiff to move, transfer, and/or distribute the accused’s personal property. In addition, the plaintiff is in a position to destroy the home, if so inclined. The displaced accused remains responsible for all the liabilities connected with the property.
- 6. The accused loses all custody of his children in all but the most exceptional cases. Most often, the accused is denied visitation with the children, either legally, or in practice through the conduct of the plaintiff.
- 7. If and when a formal custody proceeding is commenced, the accused is often reduced to supervised visitation with his children.
- 8. Despite being denied access to his children, the accused will be ordered to pay spousal/child support. The amount of this support may be assessed with no regard to the support guidelines, or the party’s ability to pay. Failure to pay child support will lead to incarceration.
- 9. The accused will be expected to avoid the plaintiff at all costs. If the accused as much as passes the plaintiff on the street, a possible charge and conviction of stalking may follow.
- 10. There will be no provision for the possibility of reconciliation between the parties, even though the Pennsylvania Divorce Code clearly claims that the policy of the Commonwealth is to “Encourage and effect reconciliation and settlement of differences between spouses, especially where children are involved.” A PFA order, prohibiting any further contact or communication ensures that a reconciliation may not even be discussed.
- 11. For all of these benefits and privileges, the accused can then be ordered to pay all of the plaintiff’s fees and expenses. Attorney fees alone can potentially exceed $3000.
A typical PFA order is often sought when the Common Pleas courts are closed. A temporary Order may be granted by a District Justice at an ex-parte hearing, after an initial interview with and coaching of the plaintiff by volunteers from ‘A Woman’s Place’.
The District Justice is only permitted to grant a temporary order if he/she feels that the plaintiff is in “immediate and present danger to (herself) or minor children.” This is a factual conclusion which must be based on the representations of the plaintiff, with preparation from a member of the staff of ‘A Woman’s Place’. Despite this statutory requirement, emergency orders are awarded as easily as widgets rolling off an assembly line.
By law, within 10 days a hearing must be held in Common Pleas Court. The accused has been out of the house for that period. His expectancy is that this nightmare is coming to an end. By now he is probably desperate for a hug from his children. But the converse is too often true.
Typically, the accused will be appointed an overburdened pro bono attorney, who will, in most cases, try to pressure the accused into signing an agreement for Final Order by Consent without a hearing. Far too often, men will comply with this after being told “This in not an admission of guilt.” “You don’t want to see her anyway.” “It’s just easier this way. It won’t change anything for you.” The accused is promised almost anything, including the chance at reconciliation, if desired. Just to compel the signing of this document. This agreement will haunt you! It will be used by the plaintiff in any impending action. The agreement is often taken as an admission of guilt, despite the language it contains.
YOU ARE NOW BRANDED AN ABUSER.
If you refuse to sign the agreement, the case will be heard by the Judge. At this point, you have a chance to try and present your defense.
Good Luck!!




The PFA statute is located at 23 PA C.S.A. § 6100 et seq. Here are a few of the provisions of that statute:
1. The plaintiff may be accompanied by her counsel, and a counselor from ‘A Woman’s Place’. Her attorney is obtained from Bucks County Legal Aid, through ‘A Woman’s Place’. The counselor is permitted to coach the plaintiff’s answers. Oftentimes, the plaintiff is coached to misstate the facts, or to create facts in order to prevail. In the meantime, in Bucks County, the accuseds are represented by a single overburdened attorney acting on behalf of the Bucks County Bar Association, with rules and restraints established by Bucks County Legal Aid. This poor soul often has as many as 50-100 accuseds per day, with seconds for each.
2. The plaintiff may introduce and utilize documents and materials the accused has never before seen. Additionally, the authors and creators of these documents need not be present for cross-examination. The documents need not be authenticated nor shown to be reliable.
3. The standard of proof at these hearings is the “preponderance of evidence.” This means that the discretion remains with the Judge to grant or refuse the Order, based on hearsay or other improper evidence.
4. The plaintiff may then be permitted to relocate with the children to an unknown location. This location MAY NOT be revealed under any circumstances.
5. A Final Order may last as long as one year. However, this period may be extended with no limitations. An extension may be prompted by the plaintiff if she chooses to file further false allegations.
6. Contempt of the Order looms ever in the background. And she doesn’t even need to call the police to charge you. If an Officer sees you near her, her home or even your children, the law gives him the right to arrest you for violating the order. Of course, she may still call the police if she comes up with other ‘evidence’ of a violation.
So, how does this affect divorce? The answer should be obvious. In a divorce, the key issues are often custody, support, and equitable distribution. Under a PFA action, these issues are resolved upon the granting of the final order. While the remedies granted under a PFA are expected to be temporary, the reality is a very different matter. Once a PFA has been granted, the accused, rightly or wrongly, is branded an abuser. The accused will find it difficult to seek relief from the Family Courts at any further point in the system. All other issues will be colored by the plaintiff pointing to the PFA and yelling that this is an abusive man!
With the access of the plaintiff to all of the personal property for the duration of the PFA, the accused has already lost at equitable distribution. Much of the time, the marital estate has been decimated. If an injunction preventing transfer, distribution, or disposition of the marital property remaining in the house is sought, a Family Court Judge will often refuse to grant this. The Judge, to the contrary, can order the accused to turn over any and all liquid assets to the plaintiff or her attorney. This leaves the accused in a position whereby he cannot afford legal counsel to further defend himself.
Among the standards in custody is the nature and extent of alleged abuse in the household. If the plaintiff uses the final order, and she will, during a custody action, the accused may lose all custody, as well. Custody may be further impaired if the plaintiff can scheme to find the accused in contempt of the order.
Additionally, it is not uncommon for the accused to be denied access to his children for months at a time. A final hearing on custody can be repeatedly continued by the plaintiff which can have the effect of continuing the PFA. Also, we have heard, that some volunteers from ‘A Woman’s Place’ advise their clients not to comply with any order that grants custody or visitation to the accused.
Permanent child support will be determined according to the State Guidelines. However, if the abuse issue is presented to the accused’s workplace, he may lose his job, as well. Support will then be determined by what is termed an “earning capacity.” This is the standard which is used when it is alleged that the defendant has wilfully terminated his employment to avoid payment of support. Of course, the accused has been separated from his financial records, and is unable to report his income and expenses.
PFA has become the most employed tool in divorce and custody actions. One simply alleges a false claim of abuse and the accused loses the entire matter. The plaintiff/accuser walks away completely victorious. The number of false abuse claims is ever rising. There are no statistics showing the number of truly founded abuse claims, but it has been reported that nationally the number of false claims is about 56% and growing.

Source:
S.P.A.R.C.


DEPRESSION: Out of the Shadows

A lot of Americans are keeping an important, possibly deadly secret.
The National Institute of Mental Health reports that approximately 18.8 million American adults have a depressive disorder. The disease is not discriminating, seeping into all age, race, gender, and socioeconomic groups. Depression stalls careers, strains relationships, and sometimes ends lives.
So if this many people are living with the disease, why the silence? DEPRESSION: Out of the Shadows is a multi-dimensional PBS project that explores the disease’s complex terrain, offering a comprehensive and timely examination of this devastating disorder.
By weaving together the science and treatment of depression with intimate portrayals of
families and individuals coping with its wide-ranging effects, the film raises awareness and eliminates the stigma surrounding this prevalent disease, underscoring the fact that whether we are battling it in our families, our workplaces, or in our own minds, depression touches everyone.
Through the voices and stories of people living with depression, the film provides a portrait of the disease never before seen on American television. Along with consumers, DEPRESSION: Out of the Shadows also follows acclaimed scientists as they describe the latest neurological research and groundbreaking new treatments for depression.
Following the film, broadcast journalist Jane Pauley will host a 30-minute roundtable discussion titled TAKE ONE STEP: Caring for Depression, with Jane Pauley in which nationally acclaimed experts will offer advice on recognizing and treating depression.In addition to the broadcast and online presence, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and the YMCA of the USA will implement an outreach campaign, educating about depression in communities across the United States.
All of the DEPRESSION: Out of the Shadows resources combine to powerfully raise awareness, eliminate stigma, and get help.
Understanding & Managing Depression
Did you know kids can experience depression?
Childhood is a carefree time, right? Unfortunately, this isn’t true for all kids. About 2% of school-age children appear to have major depression at any one time. Depression in preschoolers is rare, but does occur.
Childhood depression is caused by a variety of factors, including genetics, environment and adverse life stresses. But the good news is that children are surprisingly resilient, and the disorder is treatable in many kids. Medication and/or talk therapy is usually effective; consulting with a pediatrician, school counselor or social worker, or educator are good first steps to finding child-centered mental health care in your community. Take one step. It’s never too late.
Did you know that depression isn’t just “all in your head?”
Recent scientific research has irrefutably established that depression is a medical illness. It is not a sign of personal weakness, and it cannot be willed or “wished away” any more effectively than, say, non-treated cancer or diabetes. Depression is also known to weaken the immune system, making the body more susceptible to other medical illnesses. But despite depression’s clear biological roots, people living with the disease have often been the victims of blame and societal prejudice. Ongoing research and solid scientific findings are beginning to shed light on depression, clearing up misinformation and slowly reducing stigma.
Did you know there are many potential causes of depression?
Although there is no single, definitive answer to the question of cause, many factors – psychological, biological, environmental and genetic – likely contribute to the development of depression. Causes can occur in any combination, and can include genetic influences (such as family history of the disease); biochemical factors (such as hormonal fluctuations or chemical imbalance); psychological challenges (such as social anxiety and stress), and trauma (such as suffering the loss of a loved one or enduring a violent crime).
Did you know depression is a treatable disease?
Depression is one of the most treatable illnesses, with 80-90% of people who seek treatment finding relief. Many experts suggest using both psychotherapy and medications to treat depression. Other options include psychosocial treatments (such as family education and support groups); electroconvulsive therapy (for severe depression which does not respond to other treatments); and self-care (involving elements such as healthy diet, regular exercise, spirituality and social connection). The challenging news about treating depression is that most people experiencing the disorder never seek help. Approximately 80% of people with depressive disorders go untreated.
Did you know women experience depression more frequently than men? 
Depression can develop in anyone, regardless of race, culture, social class, age, or gender. However, across virtually all cultures and socioeconomic classes, women are more likely than men are to experience depression. Clinical depression affects two to three times as many women as men, both in the U.S. and worldwide; an estimated one out of every eight women will experience clinical depression in her lifetime. So why do so many women battle depression? Hormonal changes may play a role, with female depression often emerging at puberty and remaining high throughout the childbearing years. Psychosocial factors that may contribute to women’s increased vulnerability to depression include the stress of multiple work and family responsibilities, sexual discrimination, lack of social supports, traumatic life experiences, and poverty. Studies also indicate that sexual and physical abuses are major risk factors for depression.
Take one step: Health Knowledge is Power!
In the dark when it comes to health information? You’re not alone. According to a recent Institute of Medicine report, nearly half of all American adults have trouble figuring out medical forms, and even have difficulty understanding their doctor’s instructions!
But you can arm yourself with knowledge. Communicate with your health provider, seek out trustworthy resources on the Web and from credible toll-free information hotlines. Ask questions and listen. These small steps can help you become a more savvy health consumer.
So take one step, starting with these fast facts about taking charge of your health.
Print and Online Resources
Depression Fact Sheet Depression affects approximately 15 million American adults every year. Learn about the symptoms and basic treatments for this very treatable condition. English version (PDF, 748k) Spanish version (PDF, 796k)
Depression Statistics Because of depression’s stigma, many people are unaware of how common it is; read the statistics on the disease’s wide reach. English version (PDF, 644k) Spanish version (PDF, 776k)
Depression in Children While rare, childhood depression does exist. Explore its specific symptoms and methods for finding pediatric treatment. English version (PDF, 636k) Spanish version (PDF, 772k)
Depression in Teens and College-Age Students Incidences of depression increase during the teen years. Find out more about its contributing factors and strategies for seeking relief. English version (PDF, 636k) Spanish version (PDF, 772k)
Depression in Older Adults Depression often goes undiagnosed in older people. Learn about potential causes, symptoms and treatments for people suffering depressive disorders later in life. English version (PDF, 736k) Spanish version (PDF, 748k)
Depression in Women Women are twice as likely as men to experience depression. Learn more about possible causes and treatments for female depression. English version (PDF, 636k) Spanish version (PDF, 772k)
Depression in Communities of Color The Surgeon General reports people of color, both adults and children, are less likely than their white counterparts to receive needed mental health care. Find out why, and explore ways to connect all people with the help they need. English version (PDF, 636k) Spanish version (PDF, 772k)
Depression Web Links These revered organizations offer effective starting points when seeking information about depression or related disorders. For advice about specific treatment or medication, always consult a physician and/or mental health professional.
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~ I once was lost and now I’m found ~ Most of my life I didn’t even really know who I was. I am very thankful to finally be on the path to finding my purpose. Also, I am grateful to have found a wonderful man, Thomas, who wants to share his life with me just as much as I do with him. 
Together, we are starting a new non-profit organization to help people who have found themselves victims of a falsley filed pfa order. Right now there is not enough support for those individuals who were accused of committing an act of domestic violence and all of their rights have been taken away. People need to understand that filing a PFA (Protection From Abuse) is not a joke. The PFA Act was put in place to help victims of domestic violence and not for those who intentionally abuse the law out of greed or self-interrest. We need to stop those individuals who are abusing these laws that were put in place only to protect the innocent.
I have 4 beautiful daughters that I Love Very Much. I wish I could see them every day of my life.
I really want you girls to know how much I love you & NEVER chose to be away from you.
Bryanna, Kayla, Sierra, & Savannah
I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND MISS YOU ALL DEARLY!
I will see you soon!!!

“16% of jail inmates have a serious mental illness” — NAMI
“An alarming, 31% of female jail inmates have a serious mental illness” — NAMI
Well …
… This Blog is a semi-sweet interlude into my current situation
Read Lost in Europe ~ Part I First
I ended up in The Netherlands, Europe for 3 Months, Officially Broke, and no way to get home (which is close to 6,000km away, across the Atlantic Ocean).
Home of course being Pennsylvania – United States of America!!!
I came here to Maastricht, Netherlands in the beginning of February this year. I decided to come here for the first time last December and stayed for three weeks at that time (at that time, it was only supposed to be one week… Pfffffff).
To make a long story short, (I’ll Blog at a later date) I was scheduled to take a flight home one week after my arrival here in the Netherlands and due to a loss of passport situation (OMG) and two missed flights I finally made it home after three weeks missing Christmas.
Boy was that emotional to not be with my kids for the first Christmas EVER!!! I was a crying fool!
Once I arrived home to the U.S. on December 28th, I was only able to see my kids 2x’s/week for a total of 8 hours. This due to a situation back in October of last year. Where my soon-to-be-ex-husband FALSELY filed a PFA (Protection From Abuse) order against me stating that “I will stab this nigger in the back.” Funny, that sounds like it came out of a movie trailer or something.
I mean DAMN! After all the names I’ve been called over the years, it was only rightfully so that he was called a “pussy faggot” multiple times in return just because it pissed him off… lol! But “stab someone” I would not do. Everyone who actually knows me knows that I’m a lover not a hater. Besides… with the proof I have (i.e. police reports with photos) of him abusing me, why would I ever?
(More blogs based on my marriage/divorce coming soon!)
In addition to the divorce drama and needing to get away, the reason I came here is because I have a friend, Thomas, whom I met online back in August ‘08 on a multi player gaming website. We both had soooooo much in common that we could not wait to physically meet!
Needless to say I went out and bought a $20 web cam 24 hours after we began to IM.
It was only right for me to come here to Europe, because I REALLY needed to get away. All of my divorce drama still resides in Pennsylvania.
Overall I really am glad I came to the Netherlands. Although I am still hoping that I do not get deported…
It’s been 1 week past the 3 month limit… Fuck!
I am a US Citizen and I have been in Europe (NL) for 11 weeks. Since I only traveled here with a US Passport, I am only legally allowed to stay in Europe for 3 months, which turns out to be next week. I’m Screwed!







Now, I, have the HONOUR of saying that I have had the GREATEST OPPORTUNITY during the last 3 months.
I can now say that I’ve done what most school girls dream about. I LIVED IN EUROPE FOR 3 WHOLE MONTHS!! Hmmmm. Not many people can say that huh?

See Lost in Europe ~ Part II
So that means, as of Today, May 5, 2009, I have Literally 5 days to Physically Leave The Netherlands.
You know, I have to say this has to be the cleanest air I have EVER taken in (I should know b/c I come from a long line of family members who Lovingly passed down an Uncanny amount of Allergies).
We’re talking about me, TIFFI… HOMETOWN: Norristown, PA, USA.
I’ve been on Multiple Long Distance Vacations and can honestly say that I’ve NEVER BEEN OFF THE EAST COAST OF NORTH AMERICA! That is including when I went to Canada & Bermuda !!! Hee hee…

I feel like I could tell my whole life story right now, but I would have noplace to start and a million paths to follow. Starting a new sentence could potentially be “WWIII” in my head.
I have to Leave this Wonderful Country before ~ worst case scenario ~ I get “DEPORTED.”
{:-0
~ What a “Nightmare for the Brain.” I mean DAMN!!!
In my opinion, divorce battles these days can turn into one of the most horribly vindictive ways to get back at your spouse. It mostly turns into an outrageous fight for who will get the most material assets and most importantly, MONEY.
In the past, I would say it was “usual” when husband and wife separate, kids usually stay with mom, when the custody and divorce hearings come around the outcome could become somewhat predictable. In most cases, Mom gets the kids, Dad gets to pay child support and only see the kids on the weekends. Well, boy have times changed!
Think about how much money Dad would have to pay for say… 3 little girls. Especially when Dad initiates the Divorce. Hmmm. I guess Dad needs to find a “better way”or should I say “more financially economic way” to get through this Divorce and WIN CUSTODY OF HIS KIDS. Not to mention — NO CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS!! Think about how lovely that must sound to an underminded person who is paranoid that they will have to pay out of their ass for just about the rest of their lives…
Well, I found a document, while searching on Google called HOW TO SEEK A DIVORCE AND WIN IN ONE EASY STEP. This document actually encourages the reader to file false domestic abuse charges against their spouse to use as leverage in the divorce proceedings. These FALSE allegations are actually a solid blockade for the accused party in a pending divorce/custody battle.
Statistics show that, in most cases, it is a woman who is being abused. If she reports the abuse, her abuser would be arrested for domestic violence, and she is then given the decision on whether she would like to file a PROTECTION FROM ABUSE (PFA) order.
If a PFA is filed, the accused abuser automatically:
- Loses possession of or is evicted from the marital home
- Temporarily loses custody of the children for up to twelve months. Custody may be permanently lost for two or more years
- Ordered to pay temporary child support and/or Alimony to the plaintiff
- Is prohibited from entering or coming within 25 feet (most cases) of the plaintiffs’ residence, school, family, business, etc.
- Ordered to have no further contact with the plaintiff or her family
- Ordered to pay ALL of the expenses of the plaintiff, such as loss of earnings, attorney’s fees, medical bills and/or moving expenses
- Lastly, the accused abuser is restrained from any further abuse
If you think you may need PROTECTION FROM ABUSE please CALL 911 IMMEDIATELY or for more information contact A WOMANS PLACERead entire document~HOW TO SEEK A DIVORCE AND WIN IN ONE EASY STEP
Read more about the PROTECTION FROM ABUSE ACT OF PENNSYLVANIA
Read more about TIFFI

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